Irish Open Championships 2021 Day 4

Irish Open Championships 2021 Day 4

Chemicals saoiste (boss) Alan Looney's leadership style is one of compassionate capitalism. It comprises an empathetic culture with a popular profit-sharing scheme for staff. His 2017-2019 reign as Carrickmines Club President was one in which a sense of cothrom na féinne (fair play) pervaded. Members were kept in a constant state of heightened anticipation by impromptu *gushies of new tennis balls embossed with the face of Tennis Director, Pat Crowe, in the main club bar.

Strong consumer demand bolstered turnover levels for Looney's comhlact (company) during the pandemic. Away from the boardroom, the ceannaire's (leader's) favoured tipple is Vicar's Choice, a refreshing white with a fruity bouquet and herbal notes. The popular beverage was created by a then junior cleric in the C of E in the late 80s whilst studying Reformation-era persecution of the French Huguenots in the Dordogne. Upon assuming the title of Archbishop of Canterbury, Nathan Willoughby disposed of his shares before concocting niche soft drink, Schizan, to mixed reviews. 

High level exponent of an t-amharc ealaíne (the visual arts) Patsy Fitzgerald teamed up with pooch-proprietor and gifted horseman Nathaniel Healy in a lawn 2 championship doubles clash with Mssrs Harris and Williams today. With two members of the quartet being avowed fíon-lovers (wine), the relatively abstemious Harris is dedicated to a life of croquet athleticism. Such a vocation helped him no doubt in the comprehensive win he shared with the Shankill agronomist.

The moustachioed marvel of Carrickmines croquet, Alan Looney, joined Gerard Osborne Burke in an afternoon championship doubles opener versus McGrath and Bennett on 2. GOB excelled academically during a Princeton scholarship. He twinned his studies with an NCAA collegiate career featuring national titles in ping pong and the Basque staple pelota. The younger pair went to Rover early doors with some humorous needling coming from the benched sinsir (elders). An underhit take-off from DMcG left his partner with a tester of an angled hoop run on 4. DB duly obliged with GOB commenting: "I can't wait to read this. Put that in your magazine." Elementary errors in two 4 ball breaks meant that the ógánaigh (youths) let their oppo back in. The senior statesmens' standard leave was carried out with a questionable refusal to peg out the opposition's peg ball. Running hoops from point-blank range later proved troublesome for both pairings before the seasoned pros steadied the ship to take the game by a 22-15 margin.

Na roghanna ceapairí (sandwich choice) at lunchtime courtesy of Helena features a very popular mairteoil (beef) option. Interestingly, the Irish term for vegetarian is feoilshéantóir which translates literally as "meat denier."

In a Green Cup block game on 1, Iberian fan Geraldine O'Rourke ran 8 hoops in her defeat to Dave McGrath. Yesterday, she was two hoops ahead of Myles McWeeney when time was called. The knight of the Fourth Estate levelled the ball game with a brace of hoops off two balls before clinching the cherished golden hoop after a couple more lawn visits from each of the protagonists.

Tony Allwright prevailed against John McAuley at noon on lawn 4 and was granted a FIFA fair play-type late doors entry to the alternate shot doubles competition. Elsewhere, 

Padraig Thornton and Sylvia Briggs entertained onlookers with some wonderful shot-making on 2 in their doubles game. Solid roquets from mid-length distances from Briggs combined well with the hoop-happy efforts of her tanned playing partner.

The late doors Championship doubles (alternate shot) contest featuring the Johnston duo vs a Williams Chang tandem ought to deliver oodles of quality croquet. 

This údar (author) is now contemplating ag dul ar scor (retiring) to a life of the choicest ales and Atlantic mackerel.

*Gushie: An ever-present schoolyard activity in the 80s and 90s wherein a benevolent chisler threw a packet of sweets or legal tender into a crowd of gathered pals.

Dave McGrath